the men in my life who are at war

I have very many dear ones who are at war and I would like to share my everyday feelings

Sunday, March 26, 2006

The heart that just keeps ticking

I always wonder how God works and what makes him plan out our lives percicly. The man of my deams wants me. The man of my dreams would leave his wife for me. The man of my dreams is such a loving caring thoughtful man that he wont be mine because he cant bare to loose his kids over me. He touched me hurt me at the same time. He was so sorry for his actions so sorry for the pain he caused me. He so wants me but care to hurt his beloved children. I could understand that. I couldnt bare to not have him in my life. He is my loving trusting caring friend he always will be. He was looking for a friend to chat with while he was over seas....he wasnt exspecting to fall head over heals for me. He wasnt trying to find a lover but a friend to help ease his pain and anguish while seperated from his family....but he found me. Me...what is so special about me that makes people think I am extraordinary? This man has brought me so much happiness in such a short time....he is so lovely and thoughtful and caring....I just wish he was happy in ways a man should be happy. He has so much love to give I just wish his wife could see that. I wish for alot of things...lil miss dreamer I am. I finally heard from my husband tonight after we got disconected...he is doing well. He is very home sick and misses his boys....and loy and be hold me..he misses me finally. It took him to have to be deployed to figure out that i mean the world to him and he couldnt last a day with out me.....that if he looses me and the boys he would feel like when he and I lost our first and only beloved daughter....he couldnt live. I want to believe him..I heard it so many times before..is he truly sorry for treating me the he has...there are so many uncertenties in my life right now I dont know weather to laugh or cry....

Friday, March 24, 2006

Its been 4 months

Its been 4 months since my husband left for Iraq. First deployment in 7 years......since the marine corps days when he went to kosovo. We didn't leave each other on very good terms. We have been married all my adult life. Since I was 19. Its been 8 years. I still love and adore him very much but the man who once adored me has taken me for granted. I have taken refuge in a few men who are also fighting this stupid war.....one I have grown very fond of..it was by mistake. He's so adorable and funny and he makes me feel loved and wanted. He has told me things that he doesn't mean though....he will never leave his wife just like I would never leave my husband. He wants to make me happy for the rest of our lives. He toyed with my emotions and that wasn't fair. He is under attack right now and I am very scared and worried for him and his buddies. I will be praying for him and his unit.